Pears family - Sharon

Sharon Marie Clarke (nee Pears)

"To match the grief of losing her I have the joy of having known her"..Lisa Parish

Born in 1968 (Surrey)....Passed away in 1997 (Memorial Site)St Barnabas Hospice - you could donate here if you wish


A Tribute by Dad (Walford) on  November 1997

Our Dearest Sharon

It is just impossible for me to express adequate and appropriate words at this very sad time. But knowing you as I do, you would not want me to sing your praises. Instead, you would want me to talk about and thank everyone else. To your old friends from school and your childhood neighbourhood you would say "Remember all the good times and fun we had. You are good and true friends. Talk about me and those times and smile. Be happy."

To your more recent friends you would say "I enjoyed out get-togethers immensely. You were warm, helpful and loving. I always looked forward to planning our next date".

To your colleagues from work you would say "It was a pleasure working with you, so much so that many of you became my dear friends. Keep up the good work. Catch those wicked drug smugglers and bring them to justice."

To Mrs. Drury and Mrs. Amaladoss (Bethany's and Daniel's Headmistresses) and colleagues you would say "You are wonderful for our Bethany and Daniel. You are giving them an unbelievable sound start in their academic, social and spiritual life"

To Fr. David and the parish of Our Lady of the Sea you would say "I felt at peace and was uplifted in your presence. Thank you for accepting my family so well and easily."

To the surgeons, doctors, nurses, helpers and carers, especially the angels in St. Barnabas' Hospice "Thank you for all your skill and compassion. You gave us hope, comfort and peace. You provide heaven on earth".

To John you would say "You are a very special guy. Thank you for being my partner and my love. I know you will love and care for our Daniel and Bethany....and don't forget to water the plants"

To Daniel and Bethany you would say "Be good for your daddy. Be good in school. I'm very proud of you two. I'll be with you."

To me you would say "Now sit down and stop fussing"

This time I will use my fatherly authority and not listen to you. I'll fuss a bit.

Sharon darling

You were a delightful baby and child to your mum and me. As a little girl you worked hard at school and as you grew up you became inseparable from your brother Simon. You did boss him around as you continued to do in later years - in a protective way of course.

As a teenager you were mostly good but also did all those rebellious things a teenager does. Way out hairstyles and clothes and a few naughty things - some of which we knew about at the time, others which came to light recently and many that your friends will continue to keep quiet about.

On reaching adulthood you immediately became a responsible person and a credit to society. You just seemed to have the knack of doing everything correctly. You chose John as your partner in life. A very good move indeed. You together with John decided to raise a family early in your marriage. Daniel and Bethany arrived. A delight to us all.

You were a granddaughter, daughter, wife, mother and sister. You combined all these roles perfectly by being our friend. Always thinking of others. Always willing to help. Even with a busy schedule you found time to help pull a Jumbo down a runway at Gatwick for charity and made a point of giving your time every year helping under privileged children.

Sharon dear, in recent times you had a large cross to bear. You handled it like a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Your beautiful smile will endure.

Though you were in great pain and extreme discomfort - you did not complain. You did not ask "Why me?"

Your lovely character shone bright during your most difficult days. You organised you new home - inside and outside - often from your hospital bed. You were seen working, and working hard, in your garden on the odd days you were not in hospital. You, together with John, took the children to Disneyland to give them a very enjoyable diversion. You insisted that John and the children went on holiday while you had to endure major surgery. You were determined to see a better society. You insisted on leaving hospital to go to court to give evidence against a drug smuggler. When you were at your most tired nd weak you were heard to say to the hospice staff offering you a drink "Have yours first. I'll have a cup if some is left." You did your best to make it easy for us all. After you lost your sight you would still say you could see. You did everything for yourself until you absolutely could not. You did not want to put anyone to any trouble because of your illness. You were always ready to share your beautiful smile, hugs, cuddles, kisses and offers of help.

You were an outstanding example to us all.

As a family we would like to express our deep grief for your physical loss. We would like to thank all of you for the love, time, comfort, prayers and kindness given and shown to all of us. I'm sure this will continue, especially to John, Daniel and Bethany.

Sharon was a remarkable and very special lady. In quiet moments when we recall all the wonderful things about this world, Sharon darling, you will come to mind. From all of us present and those that could only be here in spirit, we would like to thank you Sharon for the privilege of having known you and for sharing our time.

So to our courageous, bright, unselfish, dependable, honest, strong, caring, thoughtful, consistent, warm, loving , beautiful, remarkable and special girl Sharon we say:

Put on your pretty smile my love
You are expecting a rendezvous
Put on your pretty smile my love
The lord you love is waiting for you
.

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Eulogy by Lisa Parish

I am proud to have been asked to speak today about my friendship with Sharon. Each of you had your own special relationship with her but these few words I have chosen are spoken from my heart and about a friend I have lost. Friendship by its very nature is free of deceit than any other relationship because it is the bond least affected by striving for power, physical or material profit.

There are lots of people that can be friendly, but it takes someone special to be a true friend and Sharon had these qualities. Sharon always made time for me. She was kind, generous and totally unselfish. During the last 12 months I have had problems and worries over the health of our new baby and despite everything she and her family were going through Sharon still found the strength to give me the support that I needed - her priority was always the well being of Jodie and her caring was so genuine, her honesty, her positive attitude and her practical approach to life has helped me on numerous occasions.

We enjoyed one anothers company - a good laugh and gossip over a cup of coffee was a regular occurrence in Guildford Road and it was from here our friendship grew. When Chris and I were moving, our greatest regret was that we would no longer have Sharon and John just next door. However I knew that our friendship would continue because we had grown to value one anothers opinion and rely on one another too much to allow a few miles to get in the way.

The comfort of having Sharon as my friend may indeed be lost but the comfort of having had that friendship will never be. To match the grief of losing her I have the joy of having known her.

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Some 'Verses' by Dad

It was six-thirty one October night
Above your head I noticed a light
It was not dull - it was not bright
I expected it to disappear but it remained in sight.
It was aglow and seemed to be red
Just about six inches above your head
The shape of it was like a heart
I observed it carefully from the start.
It descended slowly from the air
I watched it pass right through your hair
It slowly disappeared into your head
As you lay serenely in your Hospice bed.
I searched for reasons - there could have been many
I found none - there just weren't any!

You have gone away
To a silent land
It so sad you couldn't stay
To let me hold your hand.

I'll remember you day by day
Of your past, your joys and pain
I'll think of you again and again
It's so sad you couldn't stay.

I'll never forget your lovely smile
I'll remember you all the while
In dark times I'll turn to you and pray
It's so sad you couldn't stay.

Crossword Clues
Never gave us the blues
Solving every one
Was always such fun.

I see your face
I see the grace
Inside my heart
You have a very special place.

Tick Tick Woo is
What you called your wooden kangaroo
At twenty-nine
You are still by Shari-boo.

Shari-boo you had such pride
To see you in sickness
And with all that weakness
I wish it was me that died.

Right to the end
I thought you'll mend
It wasn't your fault you did not
A very hard battle was bravely fought.

Together we travelled
Through seventeen States
Together our hearts
Opened several gates.
The paths we travelled
Will never be unravelled
Which is hard to comprehend
From today to my life's end.

Grown men were crying
While Sharon was lying
Asleep forever
And ever and ever.

You had my shoulder
I had your shoulder
Together our strength
Just made us bolder.

To see you smile
Was always a joy
I was back to being a boy
My grin as wide as a mile.

You loved me fully
Like no one else could truly
A daughter's true love
Is a blessing from above.

As you lay still..your eyes were closed
To leave for a moment I'd squeeze your hand
I'd come closer to whisper the reason
And without the least bit of hesitation
You would pout your lips, lift your head
And give me a kiss, what bliss.

Now sit down and stop fussing
You would say when I seemed to be rushing
To me it was a pleasure
To help you have some leisure.

My tears flow; as freely as an open tap
When I think of you on my lap
The joy you brought not just to me
Turns my sadness into glee.

You were sitting there all alone
A little three year old
You saw me arrive and
In a whisper said "Hello dad"
I kissed you on the left
I kissed you on the right
You gave me a hug and clasped my hand
I was so happy and elated
I then awoke to reality
That I'll never never never
Have that special pleasure.

A small family gathering
In the Sussex village of Angmering
Saw Sharon so young and so brave
Laid to rest in a tiny little grave.

The hole was dug
The flowers arranged
The brown casket gently placed
How could this really be my Sharon?

Pauline, John, Simon, Claire and me
Daniel, Lauren together with Bethany
Stood in a line, sadly and quietly
Answering Fr. David's prayers, "Amen", tearfully.

Tears bounced off my shoes
Sharon is too important to lose.
Daniel noticed I was distressed
He came near me, I had my hand and heart caressed.

Its a small special place
We can always visit you there
Quiet, peaceful times we'll share
And let our souls embrace.

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